


i found love where it wasn't supposed to be (right in front of me)

by fish_in_the_tree



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Missing Scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28445190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fish_in_the_tree/pseuds/fish_in_the_tree
Summary: After Shelby’s breakdown, she had wanted to do nothing more than to go after her and make sure she’s okay. But she knew she would just make things worse. So, she waited for Leah to go and talk to Shelby. She waited while Dot went to remind Shelby to come back soon because it’s dangerous to be out alone at night. She waited until the other girls fell asleep one by one around the camp fire. She waited until Shelby finally came back and saw how everyone was huddled asleep around the fire, leaving her no choice but to sit beside Toni.***An imagination how Toni and Shelby's relationship develops in the six days between Episode 8 (after Shelby’s breakdown) and 9 (the food run).
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 7
Kudos: 285





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song I Found by Amber Run.

Toni’s eyes flutter open and for a brief moment, she feels disoriented, her brain foggy with sleep. Her neck feels stiff. There are grains of sand stuck to her hair, arms and legs. A good night’s sleep is a luxury out of reach on this godforsaken island but after more than two weeks here, they have tried to adapt and find comfort in any small way that they could. Usually, Toni would use one of Fatin’s extra jackets as a pillow but last night, getting comfortable for sleep was the last thing on her mind.

***

Last night, she had volunteered to watch over the fire, even though Dot was already planning to take over Shelby’s duty. She insisted she was not feeling sleepy at all and she didn’t mind staying up. It was not an entirely altruistic offer because she had her own selfish reasons. She needed something to do so that she can feel useful. Otherwise, she might have ended up doing something stupid like go after Shelby. She wasn’t even sure what she would say when she was alone with Shelby. Their last conversation didn’t go exactly well. She could still feel Shelby’s fingernails digging into her arm. And she couldn’t shake that feeling of helplessness, not knowing what Shelby needed from her with that wild pleading look in her eyes like a scared animal. She wanted to reach out, hold her hand and tell her it’s okay but before she could do anything, Shelby had stormed off and she was left alone on the beach, sand slipping through her fingers. 

After Shelby’s breakdown, she had wanted to do nothing more than to go after her and make sure she’s okay. But she knew she would just make things worse. So, she waited for Leah to go and talk to Shelby. She waited while Dot went to remind Shelby to come back soon because it’s dangerous to be out alone at night. She waited until the other girls fell asleep one by one around the camp fire. She waited until Shelby finally came back and saw how everyone was huddled asleep around the fire, leaving her no choice but to sit beside Toni. She looked exhausted and sad and so fragile that Toni just wanted to wrap her up in a big blanket to keep her safe and warm.

“You cold?” she asked instead, offering Shelby the jacket she always used as a pillow.  
Shelby shook her head, “I’m fine.”  
Then, she looked at Toni and said softly, “Thanks.” 

Their bodies were not touching but Toni was hyper aware of Shelby’s presence beside her – the warm heat from her body, her steady breathing, the way her hands kept fiddling with her hair. She remembered how those hands had felt on her cheeks and her neck when Shelby kissed her in the woods. The kiss was unexpected yet felt inevitable. All those confusing feelings about why the blonde infuriated her so much with her Jesus talk and ice-breakers and her dazzling smile and green eyes finally made sense in that moment. It had sparked something inside her that kept burning until now. It was as if she had finally awakened, after sleepwalking around the island since their plane crash. But sometimes, she wondered if it had all been just a fever dream, if the kiss had actually happened at all. Maybe it was just a figment of her imagination, a side effect of the food poisoning. It’s hard to tell what was real and what was not these days. Getting stranded on an island could do that for you. 

Toni poked at the fire with the branch and watched small sparks fly. There was a slight shuffle beside her and then she felt Shelby’s head on her shoulders. She tensed, afraid that the slightest movement might scare her away. Only after it became clear that Shelby was not moving away, she slowly relaxed and leaned closer into her. Hesitant, she held out her hand, palm facing upward. Shelby’s fingers threaded through hers and warmth spread through her body, making her feel calm. She gave her hand a gentle squeeze and when Shelby returned the gesture, Toni knew that she understood what she wanted to say. At some point, they would need to have a proper conversation. But it could wait. Right now, sitting in comfortable silence, was what they both needed. It felt real and peaceful. 

For a long while, they sat under the stars, listening to the fire crackling and the leaves rustling in the wind. When it became evident that Shelby couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer, exhaustion finally catching up with her, Toni tucked her in, whispering a soft goodnight.

***

Now that she’s fully awake, Toni saw that it’s still early in the morning. Some time in the night, Dot had changed shifts with her and even then, Toni had stayed up, keeping her company. But at some point, she must have dozed off to sleep. She looks around to see that everyone is still asleep except for Dot who’s watching the sun slowly rise in the horizon. She glances to see Shelby curled up on her side, as if she’s trying to stay warm. She picks up the extra jacket lying around and just as she’s putting it on Shelby’s sleeping form, Dot catches her in the act.

Dot is a bit surprised taking in the scene in front of her. For a brief second, she thought Toni might be trying to strangle Shelby in her sleep. As far as she knows, Toni and Shelby have been at each other’s throats all the time they’ve been on this island. But when Toni sees her staring, she looks like a deer caught in the headlights and she can’t be sure in the early morning light but are Toni’s ears slightly turning red?

But before she can say anything, Toni walks over to Martha and adjusts her green blanket even though Martha seems to be perfectly covered up and warm. Then, Toni makes a show of checking on everyone else before she comes to sit beside Dot.

“A bit cold today, isn’t it?” Toni says, looking out at the sea.

“Yeah. Why are you up early? You haven’t had much sleep.”

“Can’t sleep.”

Dot nods. She can relate.

After a beat, Toni says, “Hey, do you think maybe we should do something fun today? Some games or activities, I don’t know. Take our minds off things?”

Dot gives out a surprised laugh. “Have you and Shelby somehow switched souls?”

Toni scoffs. “Nah.. I just thought.. After what happened last night, you know. Before someone else has another breakdown. Maybe we should do something together, all of us.”

“Without any alcohol or drugs this time,” she adds. “Even though it pains me to say that.”  
Dot hums in agreement. “You’re right. As much fun as it was, I think we should stay away from the booze and the gummies for the meantime.”

They chuckle together, recalling the Marcus incident yesterday.

“Do you have any ideas what we can do?” Toni asks.

Just then, some of the girls start to wake up. Rachel sits up, already alert, and proceeds to do her morning stretch. Leah also has her eyes open, staring up into the sky, lost in her thoughts. Shelby stirs awake, her blonde hair tangled up in knots. She is confused to find the jacket on her but then her eyes find Toni’s and a soft smile tugs at her lips. Toni immediately looks down at the ground and starts playing with the sand. 

If Dot had blinked, she would have missed this moment but now she doesn’t know what to make of it. She files it away in her brain for future reference. Right now, she is just relieved that these two don’t seem like they would try to kill each other any time soon and that’s one less thing to worry about.

“I’ll see what we can do,” she tells Toni.

By now, the sun has slowly climbed up in the sky and Dot wonders what the day has in store for them. She just hopes nobody ends up drunk or high or chopping off their hair today.


	2. Chapter 2

“You would think an island in the middle of nowhere should be the most boring place in the world. But how come there’s always some sort of drama EVERY SINGLE DAY!? I like watching the drama on survival shows but not if I have to be involved in the drama myself. I just want a day where nothing happens. Is that too much to ask for?!” Dot says, as she cleans the bleeding cut on Shelby’s forehead. Shelby winces from the sting and even with her eyes closed, she can hear the exasperation in Dot’s voice. Beside her, Fatin rifles through the first-aid box, assisting Dot with finding medical supplies she may need. 

“Dot, it’s not just an island in the middle of nowhere. It’s an island in the middle of nowhere with eight teenage girls. What did you expect? I’m surprised that it took as long as it did for the twins to get into a fist fight,” Fatin murmurs the last sentence, handing over a band-aid to Dot.

“Well, let’s hope it’s not gonna be today and that everyone else can take care of themselves to stay in one piece. I don’t remember signing up to be the island’s resident nurse when I got on that plane.” Dot covers Shelby’s wound with the plaster and looks down in satisfaction at her handiwork. “There you go! Luckily, the cut’s not too deep so it should heal in a few days.”

“Thank you, Dottie,” Shelby opens her eyes and smiles at Dot, who returns the gesture. Just then, they hear shouts from the girls who seem to have abandoned the half-finished shelter and are now taking a swim in the ocean.

Earlier, they had attempted to build another shelter, all of them working together and not as a competition like last time. Even though they are hopeful that rescue was imminent, they had no way of knowing when it will come. It could be several more days. The surprise tidal wave had also made them wary and anxious about how unpredictable the natural elements can be on the island. 

Working on something together with a shared purpose lowered the tensions in the group. Everyone seemed to be in better spirits. The twins looked like they had made up after their fight. Fatin made sarcastic comments and jokes at times, which resulted in the other girls either gasping in shock or falling apart in giggles. Leah also looked lighter and less guilty, after her conversation with Shelby the previous night. Martha and Toni broke out into random songs and rap lyrics, to which Nora also sometimes sang along to. 

Although Shelby was quieter than her usual self, she felt grateful that the other girls were not treating her like a ticking time bomb. They engaged her in their conversations sometimes but made sure they also gave her space. Dot paired up with her and they worked in comfortable silence together. Toni hadn’t spoken to her since last night but she caught her glancing her way often, checking on her silently. Compared to the whirlwind of emotions yesterday, she felt calmer today.

Then, while Toni was tying one of the branches to support the shelter, it got stuck. After several tries, it wouldn’t budge and she quickly lost her patience. Out of frustration, she yanked at the branch at the exact moment that Shelby reached behind her to help. The next thing Shelby knew, there was a flash of pain on her forehead and blood trickling into her eyes. As soon as she realized what had happened, Toni dropped everything, shouting urgently for the medical bag. Shelby saw Toni’s eyes filled worry and guilt, the same look that she had seen on their first day on the island after she had fallen down the hill. Toni kept saying, “I’m so sorry” and nervously waved her hands around, as if she wanted to touch Shelby but did not dare to. Shelby could see that Toni was panicking, so she reached out with her hand that was not pressing the wound and said, “It’s okay, Toni. It was an accident.” She noticed that Toni’s hand was trembling so she gave it a gentle squeeze to reassure her that she’s fine.

Dot had taken Shelby to the shade to clean her wound, followed by Toni and Fatin (who made use of the opportunity to take a break by insisting that Dot needed help). The other girls had stayed behind, seeing that the wound was not very serious and they didn’t want to crowd Shelby.

Now, the four of them sit in the shade and looks out at the ocean.

“All right, I’m gonna head back out there,” Dot says, standing up and brushing sand off her pants. “Fatin, you coming?”

Fatin looks as if she’s about to say no but then, she takes a look at the two girls beside her. Shelby, looking a bit pale, who is trying to keep strands of messy hair away from her bandaged forehead. Toni sitting in silence with a stoic expression on her face, only her hands digging in the sand betraying her nervousness.  
“Yep!” And before she leaves with Dot, she winks and says, “Try not to kill each other, kids!”

Shelby watches Dot and Fatin walk away then glances over at where Toni is sitting, a few feet away from her.

“So, how’s my newest look? Does the band-aid make me look more badass?”

Toni looks up at her then, with a worried and nervous expression, despite Shelby’s attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t notice you behind me. I should have been more careful. I should have been more aware of my surroundings. There was this branch that got stuck and I was trying to get it out.. and.. I know I shouldn’t have used such force.. If I had stayed calm and just tried to dislodge it slowly, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. And I just…” she says, as the words she has kept inside in the past hour pours out in a rush.

Shelby feels a surge of affection for girl in front her, who is genuinely concerned for her well-being and who seems to be blaming herself for what was clearly an accident. 

“Toni, breathe. It’s okay. It was an accident. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Toni moves closer to her and brushes her hand softly against the band-aid. “Does it hurt a lot?”  
Shelby’s eyes flutter close at Toni’s touch.  
“Just a little. Nothing I can’t handle.”  
She feels a little disappointed when Toni takes her hand away.

Toni sighs. “I always seem to end up hurting people…” The unfinished sentence hangs in the air and Shelby can’t help but wonder what word she would have used. People she cares about? People she likes? Does that mean she is one of those people to Toni? Shelby catches herself before she gets too ahead of herself. Maybe she’s reading too much into it. Maybe she simply meant people around her or people in her life. 

“I once lost someone I loved because I hurt her. Not intentionally, of course. But it doesn’t change the fact that she got hurt because of me. She said I’m like birch bark because I catch fire too easily. She didn’t know how to love me without getting burnt herself.” 

Shelby felt a pang in her chest. She understood that feeling. Of being the one who rages and burns and hurts everyone who touches you. 

“I know we’ve only known each other for only a few days. There’s a lot I don’t know about you and your past. But one thing I know is that you are a good person, Toni. I’ve seen the fire in you, how you care about people close to you with a fierce passion. You remind me that fire is not always destructive. It can provide warmth and protection, just like our campfire. I know you would never hurt someone intentionally.”

When Shelby finishes speaking, she notices that Toni is staring at her intently. Shelby thinks she has never seen such a soft expression on Toni until now. 

Toni gives her a grateful smile and says softly, “Thank you.”

Shelby wonders how many people have seen this side of Toni since she always puts up a tough front. Shelby’s heart skips a beat at the realization that Toni trusts her enough to be vulnerable and open with her.

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued.


End file.
